Love me right
by Hazaazel
Summary: What do they do now ? Koutarou shouldn't be caring about this right now, all warm from the afterglow, but they still ask and Kuroo laughs, kisses their shoulder, says they clean up and get some sleep, because they're going to be wrecked tomorrow. (University doesn't mean you can handle your crush on your best friend any better - or that you can do anything when it falls apart)
Heyyy ! I've had this written and completed in my computer for a while but I don't know, I probably just wanted to feel the safety of having something to post while I wasn't writing anything so I kept it hidden.
But now I have no such limits and here you go, read my angst !

This is a songfic of Love me right, by EXO. Please go listen to the song and read the lyrics ! The clip is really pretty and the atmosphere it creates is amazing !

* * *

 _ **Take your time  
**_ _ **For some reason, it's a heart pounding night**_

Koutarou sees him on the dance floor and should probably call it a night. _You'll regret_ _it_ _tomorrow morning._ One or two more glasses of that cheap alcohol. _You'll regret it even more if you don't_ _do anything_ _._ Tooru blasting his insecurities in their ears.

Kuroo twirls with the music and Koutarou can feel the rhythm so _deep_ in their bones it's a wonder they're not already up dancing. Or shattered on the floor.

Fuck this, Koutarou's doing it.

oo

He didn't know Koutarou could kiss, but Tetsurou is glad he does, now. _How does it feel, having your best friend sucking on your lower lip ?_ It feels amazing, it tastes like alcohol and toothpaste, and the whooping sounds of Terushima in the background, and golden eyes gleaming at him.

* * *

 _ **So tonight  
**_ _ **Let's run to the end of the moon**_

"God, Kou, you're gorgeous," Kuroo says, and Koutarou writhes loud enough to make his bones rattle. _Your "best friend", uh ? You wanted to give up on the "no homo" thing and_ boy _, you_ _sure_ _did_. Tetsurou will think about this, later, when he isn't coming apart to Koutarou grinding their hips up against his, when the night is over and they'll have to look at each other and clean up and decide what to actually do now that they've crossed the line – Koutarou _whimpers_ in his mouth and Tetsurou does, too, because this night he can.

oo

What do they do, now that they both came ? Koutarou shouldn't be caring about this right now, all warm from the afterglow and tingling from where Tetsurou bit them, but they still ask the question aloud and Kuroo laughs, kisses their shoulder, says they clean up and get some sleep, because they're going to be fucking wrecked tomorrow morning. _You just_ know _there is enough vodka in_ _y_ _our veins right now to make you forget everything that happened and you're scared, you're so scared._

"Kou. I don't. I don't really remember how you ended up here."

Koutarou would gladly remember, mope about it and how they ruined their chances, and then forget everything, but Kuroo is burying his face in their back again and _oh, ok_ , that's how it works.

"Doesn't matter. 'm sleeping with you now."

"Yeah. Ok."

* * *

 _ **Just right  
**_ _ **Ignite your engine, step on the pedal  
**_ _ **Everything is special**_

Kuroo has always been so beautiful under club lights, but this is _obscene_ – Koutarou can't think, can't think past the glow of his skin and the colour of his eyes and the stretch of his smile. _You know h_ _i_ _s smil_ _e is_ _for you, because you're looking at him like he means the world to you_. Kuroo starts swaying his hips and Koutarou gets up, touching hands and lips and hair and _everything_ , Tetsurou is their everything.

oo

There is a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, like someone is stirring lead and shaping his thoughts into a whirlwind – Koutarou has their hair down, their shirt open, their legs apart, Tetsurou is shaking from simply looking at them. _You're in_ _so deep_ , _you_ _know_ _you shouldn't_ _even be here_ _, look at you, you're begging_ _for something you already have_.

* * *

 _ **You and I look good together  
**_ _ **Whatever you want, Imma make it work**_

Hiccups and whimpers, Koutarou is crying and tearing at their hair and Tetsurou is lying down on his bed pretending to be asleep. _You're the worst_.

"I'm sorry, Tetsurou, I'm so sorry."

He doesn't sleep, at all, neither does Koutarou, they're both looking at the stars and wishing they don't fall apart.

oo

They shouldn't have said that. _Of course you should have, that's what you're here for_.

"I love you."

It's more of a moan than it should be for the first time they say it but Tetsurou won't mind, right ?

Kuroo freezes like Koutarou slapped him in the face.

* * *

 _ **Shawty, Imma party till the sun down  
**_ _ **What is this mysterious feeling?  
**_ _ **Come to me, hurry, before the sun rise  
**_ _ **Wherever I am, me without you is a nobody**_

Kuroo is still here when they wake up. _You thought they'd leave, huh ? Like_ _Toor_ _u_ _did when you started talking about feelings_. It's 2pm and they must have slept through the rain because there are no clouds anymore. _You have too much feelings_. Kuroo is running his hands through their hair and singing a party song and they can't really help it if they start crying again.

oo

 _You don't do that to your best friend_. Tetsurou knows it's too late but he can still try, right ? He can try to fix this.

He can get back to lazy afternoons of video games and jokes at Kenma's and forget everything that happened here and forget that his _best friend_ is currently wetting his sheets with other things than beer or sweat or come.

* * *

 **On this highway, it's a runway  
Your eyes that look into mine are the milky way  
Just love me right, baby love me right**

"I love you"

It's a prayer. A demand.

"I love you."

It's an apology.

"I love you."

It's a collar around Tetsurou's neck.

"I love you."

It's Koutarou's heart in his hands. _And you're breaking it_.

oo

There's starlight in Tetsurou's hair. _You're painting him behind your eyelids_. Koutarou is pretty sure Kuroo's never been that high, or he wouldn't have agreed to shotgun. _You know he loves it, you set him on fire_. They're moving together, at the speed of light, Tetsurou's hands are screaming galaxies in their brain. _He's the only thing you see_.

* * *

 **Come to me, don't hesitate  
You're alluring, you're my universe  
Just love me right  
My entire universe is you**

"Kou… we can't do this anymore…"

 _He says it like you_ _don't_ _know_. Koutarou just nods, because if they try to speak they're going to cry, and they've done that more than enough already. _He says it like he hasn't told you a dozen times already._

oo

It's the same, every time. _You've never been able to tell them no_. Tetsurou sees them, in class, in the bus, at the club, when they play video games together and Akaashi says he wants to go home early – and Tetsurou falls for it, every time.

* * *

 _ **Shine a light, run into the starlight  
**_ _ **Past the milky way – we can't stop**_

 _God_ they missed Tetsurou, the smell of his hair and the touch of his hands and the burn of his moans. Koutarou misses him like they miss the sun. When Kuroo finally sears their lips in a kiss, it feels like they can breathe again. _You miss_ _the days when you still talked_ _even more._

oo

It's not that Tetsurou doesn't try. He just can't fight what already is, what feels like it was made to be, even if it burns, even if it burns his heart out of him. _They're your other half and you wonder why you're breaking them like this every time your hand touches their face_.

* * *

 **The moonlight that shines on us is always the same  
I'm still lost in your orbit  
I can do this all night long baby  
Because wherever I am, me without you is just half**

"Tetsurou. Make love to me."

He'd be damned if he didn't say yes. _You_ _'re_ _already_ _damned_.

oo

 _Why can't you make this work ?_ What can they say to their best friend when they're desperately in love and deliberately turning this into hell ? Koutarou kisses him like they're letting go.

* * *

 _ **A bright, moonlit night, the stars give off their fireworks  
Shall we fly a little bit higher  
**_ _ **Feels like my heart will explode right now, we're the only ones floating up  
**_ _ **Leaving the earth behind, below our feet, love me right**_

He's high, he's so high, that's probably why he has his phone to his ear with Koutarou on speed dial, but Tetsurou doesn't care anymore. _Like you ever did_. He wants. He doesn't know what, he just _wants_.

"Kou, tell me you love me."

oo

"You have a very shitty grin when you know you've won. Your hair only stands up right when you're not trying and it makes you crazy. You bump noses with Kenma to make sure they're ok and they love you for that. You smile at me when you know I'm sad."

 _You could go on forever and ever with this list, and Kuroo crying on the other end of the line_.

* * *

 **So come on baby, your dazzling and even more beautiful universe  
Just love me right  
My entire universe is you**

Kuroo crying live is another experience, it suits him, oddly, but they're not happy with the situation.

"Don't cry, please, stop crying."

 _You're not touching, not touching him,_ _he came to your home in the middle of the night_ _to cry on your shoulder_ _, he's a million miles away_.

oo

 _You're sobbing, you're in love, you don't want this_. Bokuto is in front of him and for once Tetsurou is looking – at the bags under their eyes, at the paleness of their skin, at the tears rolling down their cheeks, everything he doesn't want to see.

"Kou. Kou, please – break up with me."

"We never even started dating."

 _You're the worst_.

* * *

 _ **Can you love me right, just love me right  
**_ _ **I just wanna make you love me  
**_ _ **My entire universe is you**_

It's been two days and Tetsurou is already – _what, you're_ relapsing _? Like you haven't been high for most of the past week_. Tetsurou is standing in front of the uni gates and waiting for something to happen. Anything.

Koutarou watches him and pales and turns away.

 _Being high doesn't help you_ _now_.

oo

For once it's them doing the talking, and Tooru the listening, but Koutarou misses the afternoons where they'd both mope about their shitty love lives and forget in in favour of moping about their homework and eat too much ice cream for semi-pro volleyball players. _Yeah, when you could swallow up your crush on your best friend like it wasn't much_. Tooru keeps giving them that look – it's not quite mean. _It's pity_.

* * *

 _ **Even when countless nights come  
**_ _ **In my sky, only you shine  
**_ _ **Whisper only to me**_

"Fuck, god, this is- you are- _amazing_ -"

Kuroo is far from being coherent but he's never been good at staying quiet, and not talking to each other for more than two days is a first since they met each other. Koutarou always responded well to praise anyway. _You're not thinking this through, or you wouldn't be here and you wouldn't feel like this is the end and the world is crashing down and-_

oo

 _What the fuck_ _are you even_ _doing_.

"You shouldn't have what, loved me ? I'm too much of a fuck-up for that ?"

 _Why aren't you saying anything_.

"Tetsurou, answer me. Are you even listening ?!"

 _How are you letting them go ?_

"Get _out_ of my house. Tetsurou."

Fuck.

* * *

 _ **You and I colour in the night sky  
**_ _ **Just love me right  
**_ _ **My entire universe is you**_

Tooru is making his phone buzz with angry, drunken texts about Bokuto being heartbroken like Tetsurou doesn't already _know_.

[ **From: Tooru~** ] u kno the worst? theyr telling me ur the niecst thing that happnd to them

[ **From: Tooru~** ] theyre not evn jokin, theyr cryin on my shoulder tellin me ur the best frend they ever had

[ **From: Tooru~** ] wtf tetsu? wtf

 _You're scared shitless, aren't you ? Too scared to even try and make it work._

oo

"Akaashi ?!"

 _You didn't think he'd come just for you, eh ?_ They're not even _this_ low. Koutarou didn't go to class after Tooru decided they wouldn't try, that Iwaizumi was worth pining after for an indefinite amount of time, but that they could stay friends – and they did, and it's great. But this time they're ok, almost. Koutarou even went to work yesterday.

"Hi, Bokuto. Kenma told me I should visit."

"You really have a first row seat to watch how fucked-up my love life is, uh."

"Don't say this like dating me was a mistake. We really tried."

 _Kuroo didn't even say he wouldn't try, and you still got your hopes up. Idiot._

* * *

 **Just love me right  
An electric cosmic ride, our own night time flight  
I just wanna make you love me**

"I'm scared, Bo."

It's Kuroo on the phone, again, crying, _again_ , but Koutarou can't answer him. _How does he think you feel, how does he think you feel under the weight of being too much_ _but_ _not being enough ?_ Koutarou wants to cry and shout and hang up and make love to him.

oo

Is Koutarou sure they want to try ? Tetsurou thinks they shouldn't, Tetsurou warns them that he can't- there are so many things he can't do. _When did you change so much ?_ Wasn't he the one telling Kenma that no action lead to no result ? Telling Tsukki to go and confess to the shrimp even if there was every chance he'd fuck this up ? _Coward._

* * *

 _ **You got to love me  
**_ _ **My entire universe is you  
**_ _ **You love me  
**_ _ **My entire universe is you**_

[ **From:** **Oikawa** ] So you finally told them no.

[ **From:** **Oikawa** ] Good, keep doing that.

 _Y_ _ou keep going to their coffee shop and you don't even enter_. They're talking to a customer, with their smile and their laugh – it looks genuine. _You've missed this so much, haven't you. You're too stupid to kiss them_ and _make them laugh_.

oo

He doesn't even enter. Kuroo acts like they can't see him, like they're too busy talking to customers to notice him standing in font of the shop every single morning. Koutarou isn't _that_ dumb. _Oh yes you are, how do you think you ended up pressed against his lips in the back shop during_ _your_ _break ?_

* * *

HC time:  
\- Oikawa never confesses to Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi is upset about this. Kenma finds them snogging in a room and just shouts "GROSS" before walking away  
\- Kuroo considered dating Tsukishima before he realised Hinata and him were hopelessly in love, then he started coaching Tsukki on "how to confess Like A Pro". It (surprisingly) worked and Kenma had to listen to Kuroo moping about "lost love" for three weeks  
\- Akaashi and Bokuto dated in high school but with the low key homophobia in Akaashi's family, it wasn't really possible to do anything and they just stopped talking until they met again in a University volleyball match  
\- The dorm windows are Shit and if you stand in font of them you can feel the wind in your hair. Or, as Bokuto calls it, "the natural hair dryer". He never caught a cold, Oikawa is jealous

So, that's about it ! I hope you enjoyed, don't forget to leave reviews, follows or favourites to let me know you liked it, even though this website doesn't make it really easy... And a big thank you to all the people that already did so !


End file.
